Movie reviews

UNCHARTED

Watchable. Based on a Playstation game and a skewed history of geographic discoveries. The plot is far-fetched and the film lacks humour. Scottish accent is one funny bit. But it offers lots of adventure for intrepid armchair travellers. There's a quest with numerous puzzles and clues, most contained in a book - a textbook adventure flick. Elliptical narrative. Lots of twists of action. You can't get bored for a minute. Although it opens with the tackiest visual effects, they get better later. Well-matching Ramin Jawadi's music but also "Hype" by Dizzee Rascal and Calvin Harris add to the entertainment. Techno in the club is top notch. The Atmos system it's recorded in guarantees clear audio but no special sound effects are used. The lead role is very well acted by Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg pulls it off too. Tom Holland, said to have trained as a barman to prepare for the part, does know how to toss bottles in the air. He shows off how fit he is - something he didn't have a chance to do as Spidey. And, in spite of his alcohol serving skills and impressive fitness, he still looks adorably boyish. He's perfectly cast. I didn't like the lead female characters lacking finesse. The girls look too cruel. But are just as fit. Antonio Banderas resembles Rowan Atkinson - doesn't age well and is wearing his type of attire. Still, I'm impressed with Tom Holland, Sophia Ali and Tati Gabrielle's muscles. Sophia Ali is too dark for a Spaniard though. There are two early mid-credits. No end credit. Fun, I'll look forward to a sequel, knowing from the mid-credits that my favourite characters will return to face new adversaries. 

MILOSC, SEKS & PANDEMIA (LOVE, SEX & PANDEMIC)

Watchable. Lots of sex, some nudity and violence, including psychological this time, outrageous acts - typical Patryk Vega. As long as sex goes, it's exciting but when the four protagonists suddenly go to church and all four have a revelation, after a long, boring sermon, it goes from silly to ludicrous. Mixing love, sex and spirituality is worse than mixing alcohols. Not for the viewer though, scandals, even imagined ones, are totally engaging. And the film ridicules some of Poles' pandemic behaviours.